Garbage in, garbage out..a testimony.

I don't blog often. There are quite a few reasons for that. For one, I don't have the time. For two, I'm not a gifted writer. No, that's not false humility, it's the truth. I will never have thousands of readers or be in blog contests or anything like that. Another reason I don't blog often is, I don't have that much to say. And lastly, it takes a long time for the thought to come to my mind and finally get on this blog. I often talk about hard-hitting stuff that is difficult to swallow for some people. It's equally as difficult to write about. I pray a lot and take a lot of time before I actually blog, to be sure this is something God wants me to do. Because above all else, I seek to glorify my Lord. I don't blog to glorify myself, impress people or make friends. 

Now on to the story....

I am a music lover and always have been. My mother has told the story of the time when she went to see her brother play in a bar when she was pregnant with me. As soon as the music started, I started kicking in her belly...to the beat of the drums. I guess that's possible. For a baby in the womb to keep the beat. I dunno. 

A few years later this same uncle told my mother, "She's going to be a singer." My mother asked, "Why do you say that?" and the response was, "Listen to the way she hums. It's perfect."  Again, I dunno. Sounds a bit silly to me but I happen to remember that conversation. I was leaning forward in the car, humming to whatever song was in my head. I was about five years old and we were driving to the Causeway at night, probably to go crabbing. Interestingly enough, I am a singer. Not in the professional sense, but I do love to sing and sing daily. I sing while walking through the grocery store, waiting at the deli counter. Now whether or not I sing well is a matter of opinion.  :-)

From the time I was a very young toddler, I have loved music. There were a few possessions I loved: my books, my barbies and my record collection. Yes, I am that old. I had records. Those little 45's. Most of them belonged to my mother but she let me keep them in my room to play on my little blue and white record player. 

I grew up mostly listening to motown and top forty stuff. Popular music. The Gap Band, Donna Summer, Santana, The Dazz Band, to name a few. There was a time where, every week, I was given money to buy a record at Kmart. I remember buying Olivia Newton John's single "Let's Get Physical" when it came out. Let's see, that was 1981 so I had to have been four years old. Which leads me to....

I was not raised in a Christian home. This is not a dig on my parents, but a factual statement. My husband and I are born again Christians and we raise our children differently than we were raised. Again, not judgement, just a factual statement. Have you ever heard the song "Let's Get Physical"? Yeah, not something we'd be getting our teens, much less our four year old. Which leads me to...

There weren't many restrictions when it came to my choice in music. As soon as I discovered the genre, I fell in love with hip hop and rap music. This was elementary school back in the 80's. I really could stretch this out but I fear it's going to be such a long post, so I'll try to be brief.

Needless to say, as I grew up (in my tweens/teens) I continued to listening to, basically, trash. Let me be blunt, there is trash in basically every genre of music. Because of the total lack of morals in today's society, the music is utterly disgusting, in most cases.

The stuff I used to listen to was awful. I have often wondered about the saying, "Garbage in, garbage out." I understand it and believe there is truth to it. What we feast on will effect us. Eat nothing but junk food, you will eventually become ill. Watch porn, you will eventually come to think of  women as objects and sex as something that is soley for your selfish pleasure. Well, if you listen to trash, you will typically become desensitized to the garbage they are talking about and it will become acceptable to you.

"I just like the beat. I like a beat you can dance to." 

Yeah, I've said those things before.

"I don't actually agree with the stuff they say."

Yeah, I've said that, too. 

"Just  because I like this music, doesn't mean I'm a bad person."

I tried telling myself that but, let's think about this. Music is entertainment. If the music I gravitate towards if full of explicit language and explicit sex, degrading to women, full of violence, full of hedonism....really, what does that say about me? What does that say about my heart? 

So when thinking about this, I wondered if it's "Garbage in, garbage out."  So I started giving that idea some thought and, what came to mind was this:

Jesus said, "Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”  This is Matthew 15:11 for Scripture reference. Now, He was not talking about music obviously, but what came to mind is, if we have garbage in our hearts, won't that be evident in our life choices? 

When Peter asked for an explanation, Jesus said:
¹⁶ So Jesus said, “Are you also still without understanding? ¹⁷ Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? ¹⁸ But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. ¹⁹ For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. ²⁰ These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.” (Matthew 15:16-20)

My friends, what is in our hearts when we enjoy dirty music? When we actually will subject ourselves to filth?

I have to say, we can talk about all kinds of filth people indulge in. The reason I single out music is because I have experienced this first hand in my life. I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. He has been faithful to give me the desires of my heart, when those desires lined up with His word. 

I can remember listening to my music in the car and, you can turn it up, but the Holy Spirit is still there. Or maybe it's your conscience. For a born again believer, it's the Holy Spirit residing in you. He told me, "You wouldn't listen to this if I was riding in the car with you. Don't you realize that I AM riding in the car with you; that I'm with you always?" 

There came a time in my life when I realized that I was not living for Christ. I was a Christian in name only, not fully surrendered to my Lord and Savior. I remember falling down on my face, actually laying on the floor face-down and crying out to my God to please forgive me for my sins. Now I had asked forgiveness before, but this time was different. It was as if there was a true understanding, as if scales were removed from my eyes and I could really, really see myself as a fake, a liar, a Christian in name only. A Christian of convenience. We are told that God loves us just as we are. I remember being in my early twenties with no real understanding of Christianity or Jesus and saying, in my pride, "Well God loves me just the way I am. He made me this way."  Oh dear....

The Bible says,
5 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. ² Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;^[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. ³ You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. ⁴ Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
⁵ “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. ⁶ If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷ If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will^[b] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. ⁸ By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. (John 15:1-8)

He prunes us so that we will bear more fruit. In short, yes He loves us but He loves us way too much to let us remain as we were when we came to Him. 

Well I finally understood that and, while I lay there face-down in tears, crying out to my God who was so merciful, I begged, "Please Lord, help me! I don't know how I can change the way I am. I want to be like You, but I can't do it. Please change my thoughts and my desires. I want to desire the things You desire. I want to love the things You love and hate the things You hate. Please help me!"

I am near tears as I remember this. You're saying, "Wait, I thought this was about music?" 

Well I can tell you that God is SO FAITHFUL! If it's truly our desire to be like Him, He will make it so. I couldn't do it on my own, which is what I realized back then. I can't do anything good on my own. No, any goodness people see in me is HE that lives in me...Jesus Christ! I had to come to the realization that I couldn't serve two masters but I was really trying to. I had one foot in the "I'm a Christian" camp but the other was firmly still in the "I love the world" camp. My eyes were opened that I would never walk in the fullness of His plans for me if I was a lukewarm, lover of the world. 

Do you know what our gracious Heavenly Father did for me? For little, stinky old me? He made it so that the old music that I had listened to MY WHOLE LIFE was detestable to me. I just couldn't listen to it anymore. He opened my eyes to the ungodliness of most of today's music. When I'm out and about, I get a glance of how today's music is (or when people post about it on Facebook) and boy, God help us. It is obscene! Disgusting! 

What I've seen is, this music has infiltrated the Church. The judgement police can come at me full force, but I must stand firm on the Word and say, this shouldn't be. I can hear it now, "You aren't the Holy Spirit for others" and I agree. I'm not. But they can hear Him speaking to them just as I admit I did. I'm not here to judge, but to encourage, which is why I shared my own testimony. If you desire His will, He will bring you to a place of full surrender. Not on your own, but by His power, you can forsake all ungodliness. 

I am so thankful for what He has done in my life and continues to do. I still have lots of chips and cracks in me, but He has shown Himself to be faithful in every situation in my life. I trust He will finish what He started. (Philippians 1:6)

For His glory alone,