In the Land of the Shoulds....

I've often wondered if anyone else thinks social media has changed the way people relate to each other. Am I the only one? Hmm, could be. I am kinda weird like that. Maybe I am too observant when it comes to things like this, too analytical. Because I am very very very analytical. I am a thinker. I'm like Steve in his thinking chair...think, think, thiiiinnnnk.

I can't help but notice it. Is social media, and by social media, I'm referring to the all mighty facebook, kinda like alcohol? Does it lower peoples' inhibitions? I've seen people so chatty and friendly, acting like they are the berry bestest buddies on the face of the earth, awkwardly avoid each other when it comes time for social functions where they have to be face to face. Why is that? Do we feel closer to people when we have a computer screen between us? I wonder why that is?

I often say facebook is the land of the shoulds. In the past, I have been very hurt on facebook by people who probably weren't meaning to hurt me. I am a very literal person so when people gush over me and act like they love me to pieces, I tend to believe they are being real. Because "why else would people act like that," wonders this literal person. I have heard other women express the same observations when it comes to making friends as adults and especially the role social media plays into this.

The Land of the Shoulds...

We should do lunch!

We should get together soon!

We should get the kids together!

We should go meet for coffee!

All of those shoulds are fine and dandy, except....why don't we actually do them? Why, if we are friends, must they remains shoulds? I have heard these same sentiments expressed by a few ladies who are looking for friendship. True, old-fashioned friendship. Where you get together to chat, you know. Not just like each others' statuses on facebook. Or talk about all the things we should do.

I have found that part of the problem is me. Yep, me. Being so literal has it's drawbacks. I often don't get meaningless small talk that is meant to be polite. As I stated earlier, when someone says, "We should do lunch," I really really think, "Hey, this person wants to have lunch with me." I do not think, "Hey, this person is making polite small talk."  So that's completely my problem right there.

But also, there is an issue of people not really having time for each other. Are we that busy? I could say I am super busy and that may be true in some seasons, but right now I'm sitting here blogging. I could be having coffee with a friend who really needs a listening ear. Or I could be calling someone up to see how they're feeling. 

I think social media distorts how we see each other. Or is it that we, as humans, interpret things with only the few facts we have. Because, of course, that's all we can do. I remember a sweet lady telling me her kids really needed friends. I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to say. This woman and her family seem very "popular" to me...with many friends, going out to have meals here and there with people. I would never think, "Yep, the Jones family is lonely and needs friends," because from my perspective they were busy with people and social activities all the time. From my perspective...

How do we fix this or do we want to? I know there are some lonely people out there and guess what, they might not seem lonely to you. How do we forge real friendships in this age of social media fake friendships? 

I guess we can start by making an effort. When someone says let's do lunch how about we respond with, "Ok, I'm free on Wednesday afternoon. Does that work for you?" If they are busy, they are busy, but if they are always busy or never get back with you to get together, just move along. Keep things friendly, but surface friendly.

Go out of your way to be the initiator. Yep, YOU be the one to invite people places. I know, you might get rejected. So what. Brush it off and move on. I know, "what if this person thinks I'm weird for asking if she wants to get together because we have never done that before?" So what if she thinks you're weird. If she wants to get together with you, she'll be delighted that you asked. If not, she'll probably politely refuse. And think you're weird. But really is it the end of the world for someone to think you're weird? I flat out admit to being weird. There, saved us that little bit of awkwardness. It's not like you know a secret that I don't. I'm weird. :-)

I have decided to start being the initiator. I posted an open invite for ladies to join me for walking in the morning. Baby steps. Next, I will suggest a lunch date. It's just the little things. The worse that could happen is people say no. It won't be the end of the world. After all, not everyone can handle all this weirdness I have to offer.

If, after really really trying, it seems as if no one wants to take you up on your offers, here is something that has helped me. Depending on your circumstances, it may or may not help you. I always have a friend in Jesus. Cliche, I know, but oh so true. Sometimes, we are meant to go through seasons in life where we don't really have any close friends. It's okay. Sometimes we go through seasons in life where we must be a friend to someone who really needs one, but they are not able to fully reciprocate. Be a blessing, if this is the case for you! Sometimes, the Lord really wants us to cultivate a closer friendship with our husbands. Yes, true true. I have found that my husband is my closest friend. He is my confidant, my cheerleader when people do something that really hurts me. So maybe this is a good time for you to grow closer to your husband.
In fact, I would say if you are going through a rough spell with your husband and are frustrated by trying to forge friendships with women, it just might be that the Lord is nudging you to quit looking for friendships to replace what you really need...a closer bond with your man. Just a thought.

What do you think? Do you find it easy to make friends as an adult? What are some of the things you do to reach out and cultivate REAL friendships with people?

For His glory alone,
genesis

How is beauty defined?

Well I just don't know where to  begin with this but it must get out of my head and onto my blog. Bunch of thoughts flying around in my head like mad bees buzzing about, searching for the exit.

What is it with women finding their worth in their looks? Is this an age-old problem? I think many would agree it's getting worse with all of the flashy images we see every time we check out at the grocery store or every time we turn the TV on. (Note: we got rid of TV/cable over a year ago and don't miss it!)

Do you realize we would all be happier with ourselves if we stopped comparing ourselves to others? Get this, if you are comparing your forty year old image to your eighteen year old image, you are still comparing yourself unfairly because THAT.IS.NO.LONGER.YOU. We are not meant to stay young and look young forever. No matter what society says. No matter how many inventions they come out with and how many injections they concoct to help you find the fountain of youth. It's not normal!

I was at a party with my lovely friends recently and someone started taking pictures. And that's when it started. "I hope you didn't get me."  "Oh, I look horrible."  "I'm never in pictures."

These ladies are beautiful in my eyes! 

I understand because I'm human and so I've cringed when seeing myself in pictures at times.

But I still think it's sad and it must stop!

A friend of mine posted a video  the other day. It was pulled so I can't link you to it, but it was a compilation of young girls, some as young as five, who uploaded videos of themselves to youtube, asking if people thought they were pretty or ugly. SERIOULSY! I could cry! WHY???

Here's what I say to my girls who are absolutely beautiful! Everyone sees differently. There are some who will think you are gorgeous and some who will think you aren't. That's just life. When it comes to what people find physically attractive, everyone is different. I'm sure we've all seen the celebrities who have been voted "Most Beautiful" but really, not everyone agrees. There is one woman in particular who is not physically beautiful to me. I'm not mentioning names because the point of my post is NOT to tear others down, especially for their physical appearance. It's to say, everyone is different.

Back to the party and my friends, listen up mamas! Your children want to have memories of you. Not just memories of when you were young and thin and...not the mama they knew. They want to have memories of you throughout the years, memories of the mama they knew and loved! Get.In.Those.Pictures! It doesn't matter if you think you need to lose fifty pounds or if all you see is wrinkles. Get in that picture and SMILE! Our daughters and other young ladies in our lives are looking to us to see how we feel about beauty. How do we feel about our own physical appearance? Do we feel we are less than because we've gained some weight? Do we feel less than because, at thirty six we no longer look eighteen?

I see this a lot, not just in women my age and older, but in teens! Teens, for crying out loud! This one young lady (beautiful!) was complaining about her picture. I told that sweet girl to save it because one day she'd look back on it and say, "Wow, I looked like that and complained."  Seriously girls, be happy with yourselves in whatever season you're in.

I will share something that's a bit embarrassing but the testimony of God's goodness just isn't the same without sharing it. My whole life, I've been told I'm pretty. No really, don't stop reading. This is not a "don't hate me because I'm beautiful thing." I remember even as a little girl with my mom in the mall or the grocery store, people would come up and tell her what a pretty little girl she had and that I should model. (Believe it or not, I used to be shy so I would hide when they'd say this.) I was complimented on my looks throughout my life. Guess what: you can tell someone they are pretty all the time, but if they are comparing themselves to others and if they aren't seeing pretty when they look in the mirror, it doesn't mean a thing! Trust me, I ended up with such issues, self image issues, eating disorders. I was actually seeing something totally different in the mirror than what other people saw (apparently.) It was all so sad, so unhealthy, so pathetic!


People say you should tell your daughters all the time that they are beautiful. Hmmm. I can't say I do that. And it's on purpose! While I definitely think my girls are beautiful and I do tell them this, it's not something I feel the need to tell them every day. I'd rather tell them....

to be kind, because that shines through...

to love the Lord and follow after Him because that is what's important and a woman who loves the Lord and seeks Him with all her heart is ALWAYS beautiful...

to have compassion for others because that makes your beauty shine...

to love laughing, really laughing not fake laughing...

to love to make others laugh because a funloving spirit is beautiful....

to help those less fortunate because that's never an ugly quality...

to be quick to forgive because it exemplifies the Father in how He beautifully forgives us...

to be ladylike not only in your clothing, but in your heart because you can wear modest clothing and still have an ugly, attention seeking heart and that is not beautiful...

The women you see on magazines are altered. Either surgically, or digitally or both. And even if they aren't, so what. They aren't you. You are you. Embrace the beauty that's in you. While I do not think I am the world's idea of beautiful, I will not tear myself down anymore. I hope when people see me and compliment me, I hope what they really mean is, "She loves Jesus and it shows. She's so nice and helpful. She's funny and I like the way she tries to make me happy by making me laugh. She's so silly and playful and helps me get out of my sad mood." Those are the things that matter in reality. In reality, we all get old, we all get flabby and wrinkly and gray. Those things are not ugly, no way. Beauty comes from the inside and you will never find it in yourself if you keep looking for it on the outside in the mirror. It comes from the inside. It doesn't come from everyone telling you how beautiful you are or getting a hundred likes on your pictures.It comes from the inside.

Praise You, Lord, for opening my eyes, for helping me to see that I am beautiful because of the changes You've made in me and not because of what I look like on the outside or what others think of me. Praise Your holy name! I am forever grateful! <3

Remember, get in those pics and smile no matter what you look like on the outside! Life is passing by...

For His glory alone,
genesis

I can't homeschool anymore.

Something that every homeschooling mama has experienced before is the Being Behind Syndrome. "We're behind, we're so behind, I just know those kids in school are already doing x.y, z." Or maybe they compare themselves to the infamous Joneses. Those Jones kids are fluent in four languages by the time they start first grade, don'tcha know. Each little Jones child plays an instrument so that the Jones family has their own little orchestra. Ah, Being Behind Syndrome. Is it a coincidence that we can shorten it to BBS? Or....Big BS? Buncha BS? Hmmm...I didn't say it.

There is another syndrome that seems to strike homeschoolers, this time focusing on those who haven't been in the game for long. That is the I'm Not Good Enough (or smart enough or patient enough) to Homeschool. I won't even try to come up with an acronym for that. If you think of a good one, let me know won'tcha?

Last month at my homeschool group's monthly support meeting, it was my turn to share a devotional. I was very excited about it because I knew the Lord wanted me to share this...what I'm going to share here. So I organized it on paper and, wouldn't ya know, I just sat there and talked, never looking at my paper. When I got home, I thought, "I'd really like to turn this into a blog post so I can share all the stuff I missed at the meeting."

There are not many areas in my life where I can say I am confident. That's not because I lack confidence, only that there's not much I do. I'm not particularly skilled in any area. I am confident in my ability to homeschool my children. Before you start thinking I'm an arrogant fool, read why.  :-)

Homeschooling is something God wants me to do. I Thessalonians 5:24 says, "Faithful is he that calleth you, who will also do it."  Whatever God has called us to do, He is completely faithful. He will give us whatever we need to accomplish the tasks He has given us to do for His glory. All the time. Not just when it's easy. Not just when we feel on top of the world. That would be us doing it in our own strength. Ha! I don't know about you, but I almost always fail when I rely on my own strength to do things. Even on those bad days (or bad months), His grace is sufficient for us. His power is made perfect when we are weak. That is when we learn (sometimes slooowly) to rely on His power,not ours. See II Corinthians 12:9.

There are examples that have given me great hope when I needed it. True stories of the "little people" who did great things, things beyond what they could normally do all because of the mighty, powerful God they serve. I serve that same God. So do you, my friend.

I Samuel 17 tells the story of David. Just little David.  Not big, strong, warrior David. Just a little shepherd boy. David was willing to go up against the giant Goliath when all the big, strong warriors were afraid. We find out why here. Read and see the awesomeness that is FAITH. Read and see how David, little untrained David, responded when Saul basically said, "Hey, you're just a little boy. You're not a warrior. You can't do that!"

 I Samuel 17: 34-37

But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, ³⁵ I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. ³⁶ Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. ³⁷ The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”

Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.”

Let that soak in for a minute. Ahh, I love it. Here is a person admitting  that he's not really hot stuff when it comes to being a mean, tough warrior. BUT.....but....His God (remember, OUR God) has never let him down before and he's faced some serious hazards here. Hello? The Lord rescued him from a lion and a bear. This boy here knew, he knew his God was faithful. His God was always there. His God's strength was more than enough.

David knew he did nothing by his own strength, that it was by GOD'S power that he could accomplish anything. He knew no earthly weapon could overcome the power of God. 

What giants do you face in your homeschool journey? What giants are you facing in your calling to educate your children at home? Are any of them too big for your God, the same God who David placed his faith in? 

Look at the objections to David: "You're too young. You're not a solider/warrior." Compare it to the objections the enemy throws in our faces to thwart us. "You're not smart enough! You're not a real teacher!" 

God does not sit around calling those who are good enough to get the job done. No, He calls those who will listen, who will hear His voice. Haven't we all heard the saying, "God does not call the equipped, He equips the called." It is so true.   

How about over in 2 Kings 4 where the widow is in trouble. What does Elisha tell her to do? He tells her to do something pretty impossible, doesn't he? (Hint, go over and read the story if you're not familiar with it.) She could have said, "Um, are you crazy? That will never work," but no, she listens and better yet, she acts accordingly. 

Again, God will equip us with everything we need to fulfill what He's called us to do. The sooner we learn to trust in His power rather than our own, the better off we'll be.

Now, let's talk about the BS. The Being Behind Syndrome.  

When I was a newer homeschooling mama, I struggled with the BBS. Right after I removed my children from school, I was pregnant. So my first year homeschooling was spent being pregnant and the second year was spent with a new baby. Fun stuff, I tell ya. 

Slowly, that dirty devil who is the father of all lies started whispering in my ear. "You are behind. The children in school are probably doing x, y, z and you will never catch up. You are ruining your children. It will be all your fault." I struggled because I knew the Lord did not want my children in school. I knew He wanted them home with me. 

Finally, after praying and praying, the Lord spoke to me and said, "You are behind. You are behind Me and that is exactly where I want you. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing. Not to mention, I wanted you to take them out of school so who cares what the school is doing." 

Well then.

When we are behind the Lord, as in following after Him, we are in the best place we can be. We need not worry about anything else. Not a thing. Even when our ways don't look like the Joneses and our children don't look like the Joneses. You see, everything we as believers of Christ do is for His glory. Not ours. His. Most of the time, when mamas are struggling with BBS, it's because of academics. Now, I'm not saying academics aren't important. I'm not saying sit around and watch soap operas every day and who cares 'bout learnin'. (Soaps operas...ok hopefully you don't watch those. That's for another post, LOL!) But academics are second. Teaching our children about God and His ways is first. Until you get this truth down pat, you will ALWAYS feel behind. Since God does everything for His glory, perhaps He will use our child to bring Him glory in an area that is not highly academic. Who knows, right? God already knows. All we have to do is be behind HIM. 

Another common reason we struggle is because of a child who is...how do we say...more difficult. I have one of those. She needs more consistent training/parenting. It's enough to make me wanna pull my hair out at times...until I remember, God knew she would take a lot more time and patience than my other children. He knew this when He called me to homeschool. He wants this child home with me for His glory. I need to constantly rely on His power and not my own. I can do nothing without Him but with Him I can do all things.

Go...be behind! Be behind the One who called you to do the job!  You can do it because nothing is impossible with Him. 

For His glory alone,

genesis

Train up a child...and then what?

Proverbs 22:6 states: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Sounds good. Sounds like a promise, doesn't it? Like a guarantee. "Just do this and TADA godly children!"

I'm sure we all know parents who really did try their best. They were active in church, really loved the Lord, surrounded their children with church friends...did everything "right." And then we were all shocked when their kids walked away from the faith once they were out on their own. What happened? What went wrong and what does that mean for me and my family? I'm doing all I know to do. I thought if I trained up my children in the way they should go, they would not depart from it?

Here's the thing. Some people look at the book of Proverbs like a book full of guaranteed truths, a book full of promises. I don't believe that is so. I think Proverbs is a book chock full of wisdom. It's a book FULL of godly instruction that is wise and true. However, there are exceptions to the outcome of wise sayings meaning, generally speaking, if you train up a child in the way he should go he will not depart from it, but not ALWAYS.  There are godly parent who ARE training up their children in the way they should go, but, you know what? There are also children who are only outwardly adopting their parents' faith while they are within the home. There are children who are not truly followers of Jesus Christ and that's something we don't want to admit. We don't want to admit it because it means it's possible that OUR children are those children! God help us! We don't want that to be the case.

I will tell you what Proverbs 22:6 along with such verses as Deuteronomy 6:7-9 mean to me. They tell me that it's my responsibility to train my children in the ways of the Lord. My husband and I, as followers of Christ Jesus, are responsible for training our children all about God's ways, His Word, how he wants us to live, etc..It's a constant process full of making mistakes, asking forgiveness, offering grace and mercy. It means we make decisions based on how God would have us parent, not what is culturally popular at the moment. In fact, often the way we parent our children is not culturally popular. No matter. God instructs us to do it anyway. It means we aren't just church-goers. It means we LIVE out our beliefs.

Right now, all of our children live at home with our oldest on the brink of legal adulthood. My husband and I are well aware that young adults walk away from a faith they once professed. We are well aware that this happens to even the godliest of parents who really did everything they knew to do. This is why we shouldn't judge peoples' parenting abilities based on how their adult children turn out. Obviously there are some people who did not do as the Bible says to do. Even then, by the grace of God, He swoops down and rescues them from their sin, from their rebellion, from their ignorance. He sure did that with me. I never even knew Easter was really Resurrection Sunday and that Jesus had anything (actually EVERYTHING) to do with it until I was grown. I had no biblical knowledge. No church knowledge, unless you count that people sometimes got married at church.

 Hope is never lost when it comes to the Almighty God we serve. Don't you forget that. I know you are looking at your kids, especially if they are nearing adulthood. You're watching, cringing at certain things maybe, huh? Proud of them at other moments, then wondering the next...."What if?"  Keep on doing what the Word says to do. Keep on "training up" that child in the way he should go. When they get out on their own, they will probably do things a little differently than you do. They will spread their wings. They might (gasp) attend a different church. They might walk away. Who knows? Only God knows this right now. Worrying about this does nothing for you.

  N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

Train up a child in the way he should go and then leave it to God. God sees the work we do. He sees how hard we try, how much we love our children so dearly. He hears our nightly prayers, sometimes full of tears and sobs, "God, please keep watch over my children." He hears. It's like we're begging Him. We don't have to beg. He loves our children and He is sovereign. Everything is under control. 

Right now, my children profess faith in Jesus Christ. Right now, I have what most people consider "good children." (Don't get me wrong, they are well behaved, loving kids, for the most part, but they're human.)

What to do if they DO depart from it? What then? Do we call God a liar? Do we become bitter and say the Bible is full of lies, the Proverbs were wrong? No, of course not. We keep on loving God because He is our FIRST LOVE. We keep on trusting God, knowing He is working everything for our good and that sometimes we can't see His plan unfolding but it's unfolding nevertheless. And we keep on loving those children, too. Always, always loving those children and making sure they know it.

Heavenly Father, we lift our children up to You, entrusting them to You. We thank You for continuing to give us strength and courage and the wisdom it takes to train these children up the way You'd have us do. We pray you fill the hearts of our children with a sincere desire to love you, to know you, to be BOLD Jesus-followers, changing the world for You, Lord. We pray you make sin repulsive to our children and give them eyes set on things of Above. We pray You help our children to be leaders who help their friends forsake the world, repent of sin and follow You. We pray you bring godly friends into the lives our children; friends who will encourage them in their walk with you, not discourage them, not friends who encourage them to sin. We know You love our children and we thank You for loaning them to us for this short time we have here on earth. May our parenting efforts always reflect Your love and  reflect a heart that is obedient to You and Your Word. In Jesus's name we pray, amen.

Friends, I have such a heart for young people. The enemy wants our children. I pray for young people who have no idea I'm praying for them, but the Lord just brings them to mind as I pray. If you have any private, specific requests for your young adults, I would be privileged to lift them up in prayer if you feel like sharing. You can post your requests here in the comments anonymously, or you can fill out the contact form here on my blog. We must intercede and pray for our children now more than ever. We cannot allow the distractions of life to keep us away from this essential obligation.

For His glory alone,
genesis

Garbage in, garbage out..a testimony.

I don't blog often. There are quite a few reasons for that. For one, I don't have the time. For two, I'm not a gifted writer. No, that's not false humility, it's the truth. I will never have thousands of readers or be in blog contests or anything like that. Another reason I don't blog often is, I don't have that much to say. And lastly, it takes a long time for the thought to come to my mind and finally get on this blog. I often talk about hard-hitting stuff that is difficult to swallow for some people. It's equally as difficult to write about. I pray a lot and take a lot of time before I actually blog, to be sure this is something God wants me to do. Because above all else, I seek to glorify my Lord. I don't blog to glorify myself, impress people or make friends. 

Now on to the story....

I am a music lover and always have been. My mother has told the story of the time when she went to see her brother play in a bar when she was pregnant with me. As soon as the music started, I started kicking in her belly...to the beat of the drums. I guess that's possible. For a baby in the womb to keep the beat. I dunno. 

A few years later this same uncle told my mother, "She's going to be a singer." My mother asked, "Why do you say that?" and the response was, "Listen to the way she hums. It's perfect."  Again, I dunno. Sounds a bit silly to me but I happen to remember that conversation. I was leaning forward in the car, humming to whatever song was in my head. I was about five years old and we were driving to the Causeway at night, probably to go crabbing. Interestingly enough, I am a singer. Not in the professional sense, but I do love to sing and sing daily. I sing while walking through the grocery store, waiting at the deli counter. Now whether or not I sing well is a matter of opinion.  :-)

From the time I was a very young toddler, I have loved music. There were a few possessions I loved: my books, my barbies and my record collection. Yes, I am that old. I had records. Those little 45's. Most of them belonged to my mother but she let me keep them in my room to play on my little blue and white record player. 

I grew up mostly listening to motown and top forty stuff. Popular music. The Gap Band, Donna Summer, Santana, The Dazz Band, to name a few. There was a time where, every week, I was given money to buy a record at Kmart. I remember buying Olivia Newton John's single "Let's Get Physical" when it came out. Let's see, that was 1981 so I had to have been four years old. Which leads me to....

I was not raised in a Christian home. This is not a dig on my parents, but a factual statement. My husband and I are born again Christians and we raise our children differently than we were raised. Again, not judgement, just a factual statement. Have you ever heard the song "Let's Get Physical"? Yeah, not something we'd be getting our teens, much less our four year old. Which leads me to...

There weren't many restrictions when it came to my choice in music. As soon as I discovered the genre, I fell in love with hip hop and rap music. This was elementary school back in the 80's. I really could stretch this out but I fear it's going to be such a long post, so I'll try to be brief.

Needless to say, as I grew up (in my tweens/teens) I continued to listening to, basically, trash. Let me be blunt, there is trash in basically every genre of music. Because of the total lack of morals in today's society, the music is utterly disgusting, in most cases.

The stuff I used to listen to was awful. I have often wondered about the saying, "Garbage in, garbage out." I understand it and believe there is truth to it. What we feast on will effect us. Eat nothing but junk food, you will eventually become ill. Watch porn, you will eventually come to think of  women as objects and sex as something that is soley for your selfish pleasure. Well, if you listen to trash, you will typically become desensitized to the garbage they are talking about and it will become acceptable to you.

"I just like the beat. I like a beat you can dance to." 

Yeah, I've said those things before.

"I don't actually agree with the stuff they say."

Yeah, I've said that, too. 

"Just  because I like this music, doesn't mean I'm a bad person."

I tried telling myself that but, let's think about this. Music is entertainment. If the music I gravitate towards if full of explicit language and explicit sex, degrading to women, full of violence, full of hedonism....really, what does that say about me? What does that say about my heart? 

So when thinking about this, I wondered if it's "Garbage in, garbage out."  So I started giving that idea some thought and, what came to mind was this:

Jesus said, "Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”  This is Matthew 15:11 for Scripture reference. Now, He was not talking about music obviously, but what came to mind is, if we have garbage in our hearts, won't that be evident in our life choices? 

When Peter asked for an explanation, Jesus said:
¹⁶ So Jesus said, “Are you also still without understanding? ¹⁷ Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? ¹⁸ But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. ¹⁹ For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. ²⁰ These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.” (Matthew 15:16-20)

My friends, what is in our hearts when we enjoy dirty music? When we actually will subject ourselves to filth?

I have to say, we can talk about all kinds of filth people indulge in. The reason I single out music is because I have experienced this first hand in my life. I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. He has been faithful to give me the desires of my heart, when those desires lined up with His word. 

I can remember listening to my music in the car and, you can turn it up, but the Holy Spirit is still there. Or maybe it's your conscience. For a born again believer, it's the Holy Spirit residing in you. He told me, "You wouldn't listen to this if I was riding in the car with you. Don't you realize that I AM riding in the car with you; that I'm with you always?" 

There came a time in my life when I realized that I was not living for Christ. I was a Christian in name only, not fully surrendered to my Lord and Savior. I remember falling down on my face, actually laying on the floor face-down and crying out to my God to please forgive me for my sins. Now I had asked forgiveness before, but this time was different. It was as if there was a true understanding, as if scales were removed from my eyes and I could really, really see myself as a fake, a liar, a Christian in name only. A Christian of convenience. We are told that God loves us just as we are. I remember being in my early twenties with no real understanding of Christianity or Jesus and saying, in my pride, "Well God loves me just the way I am. He made me this way."  Oh dear....

The Bible says,
5 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. ² Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;^[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. ³ You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. ⁴ Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
⁵ “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. ⁶ If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷ If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will^[b] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. ⁸ By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. (John 15:1-8)

He prunes us so that we will bear more fruit. In short, yes He loves us but He loves us way too much to let us remain as we were when we came to Him. 

Well I finally understood that and, while I lay there face-down in tears, crying out to my God who was so merciful, I begged, "Please Lord, help me! I don't know how I can change the way I am. I want to be like You, but I can't do it. Please change my thoughts and my desires. I want to desire the things You desire. I want to love the things You love and hate the things You hate. Please help me!"

I am near tears as I remember this. You're saying, "Wait, I thought this was about music?" 

Well I can tell you that God is SO FAITHFUL! If it's truly our desire to be like Him, He will make it so. I couldn't do it on my own, which is what I realized back then. I can't do anything good on my own. No, any goodness people see in me is HE that lives in me...Jesus Christ! I had to come to the realization that I couldn't serve two masters but I was really trying to. I had one foot in the "I'm a Christian" camp but the other was firmly still in the "I love the world" camp. My eyes were opened that I would never walk in the fullness of His plans for me if I was a lukewarm, lover of the world. 

Do you know what our gracious Heavenly Father did for me? For little, stinky old me? He made it so that the old music that I had listened to MY WHOLE LIFE was detestable to me. I just couldn't listen to it anymore. He opened my eyes to the ungodliness of most of today's music. When I'm out and about, I get a glance of how today's music is (or when people post about it on Facebook) and boy, God help us. It is obscene! Disgusting! 

What I've seen is, this music has infiltrated the Church. The judgement police can come at me full force, but I must stand firm on the Word and say, this shouldn't be. I can hear it now, "You aren't the Holy Spirit for others" and I agree. I'm not. But they can hear Him speaking to them just as I admit I did. I'm not here to judge, but to encourage, which is why I shared my own testimony. If you desire His will, He will bring you to a place of full surrender. Not on your own, but by His power, you can forsake all ungodliness. 

I am so thankful for what He has done in my life and continues to do. I still have lots of chips and cracks in me, but He has shown Himself to be faithful in every situation in my life. I trust He will finish what He started. (Philippians 1:6)

For His glory alone,

You're wearing a sign.

I have wanted to write about this topic for so long but, for various reasons, haven't. I suppose it can be a difficult topic to talk about, but we, as followers of Christ, must be willing to discuss difficult topics with a loving spirit.

The fact that my family just recently got passes to a local theme park might have helped me along in saying, "Finally! This needs to be discussed"

Let me explain. You see, sometimes you want to go up to people and say, "You are wearing a sign." Of course that's not what you'd say at first because it sounds crazy. So let's see how we should begin.

Disclaimer: I share the stuff that weighs on my heart. Maybe it doesn't weigh on yours and that's okay, it really is! But maybe, just maybe, it does weigh on your heart a teensy bit and you just needed to know others feel the same. Sometimes, someone's gotta say what a lot of people are thinking but don't feel comfortable saying. Clear as mud? :-)

In our society, we see it more and more. Girls and women scantily clad in provocative clothing that really leaves nothing to the imagination. For the sake of brevity, I'm going to use the term "girls" to refer to girls, teens, and grown women. In general: females.

Society has always had those who push the limit. Believe it or not, it used to be provocative for a woman to wear a dress that showed her ankles. Oooh la la. 

But we do live in an age where there's an "anything goes" attitude. Our culture is a sexually saturated culture. 

And it's sad. Very very sad. Even very young girls are dressing in provocative clothing. They're starting younger and younger and it's all culturally acceptable these days. 

We recently went to a theme park as a family. These are the things you'll see there (and just about any place you go these days.)....shorts so short that butt cheeks are hanging out, boobs pushed up so high and spilling out of tops (that looks reeeeally uncomfortable, by the way.) Tight, short, form-fitting everything.

There's something in me, something deep in my heart that wants to embrace these girls (women/females.) I saw this one girl who had two young girls. The girls were dressed in normal little girl clothes-thank God- but the mother was dressed...well, to be honest, she was presenting herself as loose. Slutty, even, and I HATE using that word but it does appropriately describe the vibe her clothing was giving off. 

I wanted to approach this woman, put my arm around her shoulder and give her a squeeze. I wanted to give her a warm smile and talk privately with her. First, I would have told her, "You know, you are really pretty." 

Going on, I would have gently asked her, "But are you aware that you are wearing a sign? A sign for all to see?" I'm sure this would have been received with confusion. Let me explain. "Your clothing leaves nothing to the imagination, sweet girl. Your whole body is on display. On display. For all to see. Little girls who might be looking up to you thinking they want to dress like that someday. Women looking at you with jealousy and shame about their own perceived flaws because they've yet to realize where their worth comes from. Men looking at you, lusting for you. Men looking at you then looking away quickly because they love the Lord and try to avoid temptation at all costs.  Yes, sweet girl, you are wearing a sign. 

It says

I'm desperate, please look at me!

I need you to think I'm hot, that I'm sexy, that I'm desirable and 

I think this is all I have to offer...

my body,

exposed for all to see.

I don't have any confidence that my intelligence could win you over..

or that my funny sense of humor can make you stay..

or that my kind, soft heart will keep you around.

So I desperately need to use the only thing I have to offer.

My looks.

My body.

My sexuality. 

Girls, this makes me want to cry! If I could tell you, I'd say that your worth doesn't come from your looks. Your value is not measured by whether or not you look like those sex objects on magazine covers. I'd tell you that if a man is attracted to you because of the flesh you are showing, then this man is seeking to fulfill his flesh and that is not what you want! 

We've all heard the verse, For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. I Samuel 16:7

I'm not going in depth here but this verse is often taken out of context. It does not mean what a lot of people think it means. The truth is, the outward appearance usually (I said usually) reflects what's IN the heart. You can leave me comments of the many times this is not true and I will AGREE with you. Truth is, God knows our heart, but strangers don't. You might think, "Who cares what strangers want to think of me?" You're right. If strangers want to see you as flesh on display, as meat hanging outside of the meat market for sale, then that is truly your business.

Sadly, I've seen this in the Christian community as well. It seems as if the worldly adage, "If you've got it, flaunt it," still sounds like the truth to those who proclaim Christ. We must be careful to weigh everything against God's Word. If the world says, "Show'em what you've got" but the Bible says we are to be modest, then we know one is lying. It's not God's Word. It never is. This is a case where, what strangers think, IS important. You see, we are ambassadors for Christ. We are imitators of Christ. It's important that this comes across in our attitudes, in our love, in our kindness, but it's also important that we represent Him in all ways. There are no hard and fast rules, but wearing barely there clothing cannot be considered modest and Christlike.

I still feel sorry when I see women young and old walking around on display like they are wearing a sign. Lord, I pray you open their eyes to their true worth that can only be found in You. I pray you replace their "Desperate" sign with a sign that reads "I am a daughter of the one true King. A princess. I am more than my body. I am more than my outer appearance. I am precious and I am loved." 

While we were at the park, my teenaged son whispered something to me. He said all these girls are so different from "Mary" (name changed to protect her privacy.) He did not say this in a complimentary way towards them, believe me. He wasn't being mean, he was being truthful. He shared with me that he didn't see anything attractive about the way they dressed and presented themselves. He shared with me that "Mary's" modesty was ATTRACTIVE. Yes, Mary is a pretty girl who dresses very cute and fashionable but always like a lady. My son says this makes Mary even MORE attractive. 

Girls, you have a gift. Wear a sign that shows the world that you know you have a gift and it's not a gift you want to put on display for all to see.

For His glory alone,

Whackjob Wednesday: How not to win mother-of-the-year award.

I see cutesy things on blogs...or maybe it's Facebook. Things like Throwback Thursday, Manic Monday. Ok so maybe not Manic Monday. I dunno. I'm new to blogging, what do I know. Today was Whackjob Wednesday. I don't know if that's real in Blogland but it was real in this house. It was real today.

So, I have a wild four year old. Well, she'll be five very soon. She is the queen here, I won't lie. We all know she is the queen. There is a seven year age difference between Queen Tasha and our next youngest. Shoot, our oldest is seventeen. So when we say she is the baby, she's really really the baby. Did I mention she is the queen here?

Here's what happened today in a nutshell:

I told the queen to pick up her blocks. We are working on being obedient and by working on being obedient, I mean I am praying fervently every single night that one day she will actually listen to me.

So I tell her to pick up her blocks which are all over the living room floor. I have told her and told her to no avail.  She refuses.  So I did what any other sweet, gentle, godly mother would do....

I lost my temper and proceeded to throw her blocks in the trash. For real.

Then I told her to go to her room and pick up the other things I had been telling her to pick up before I threw them in the trash, too. She did it! (Seriously?) Then she sneaked into her sisters' room. After some time had passed, I went in there to talk to her. Here's why, but this is just between you and me because we can't actually admit this to our children.

I mean, really, just the thought of her precious blocks sitting in the trash, being taken to the dump, COME ON, these are her blocks for crying out loud. Her blocks that she's had forever, her blocks that she uses to build castles and says, "Mama, come look at the castle I made! Do you wanna live there?" So, of course, I'm thinking of doing something we don't like to admit and that is save face. So I hatch a plan.

"Hey, T, do you know why Mama threw your blocks away? Because you wouldn't pick them up. If you want to keep them, you can take them out of the trash and put them in the box."  (The trash was not full or dirty or anything.)  She gives me this look like, "You think I'm diggin in the trash? Um, no."

So I did what any other mama would do. I quietly went to the trash, picked out the blocks and hid them in my closet. Sigh. FAILURE.

This is all very funny to me (now...not earlier today during my shameful tantrum), because I can remember when I was the "First Time Obedience Nazi." My children were well behaved as all children should be. My children did not, I repeat, not embarrass me in public. Nuh uh.

Proverbs 16:18

Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.

Queen Tasha changed all of that. God laughed and said, "Girl, you need to be taken down a notch. You need to learn compassion for other parents with children who haven't quite gotten the hang of obedience.Oh and those prayers for patience, well here's how I'm gonna help you with that."  Ok God didn't really say that, but I imagine He thought it.

What better way to develop patience then to have to practice it over and over and over.....and over and....you get it.

Something I've learned over time is, even we adults do not obey God the very first time. Sometimes, we've just gotta learn the hard way. So is it unrealistic to expect first-time obedience from children? Children...who are, by nature, immature? Yes, I believe it is. It feels good to let go of those unrealistic expectations...

Let. It. Goooooo.....

My Natasha came to me early. She was a firecracker in the womb and couldn't wait to join us here in the world. Due in October, I started going to the hospital for shots to stop my labor in August. I was put on medication that was supposed to ward off preterm labor. Finally, in late September at one of my visits to the hospital, I needed an emergency C-section. My Natasha was not content to wait any longer so I believe (for real) that she ripped my placenta off because I had placenta abruption and not only needed an emergency C-section, but a blood transfusion due to so much blood loss. It was a miracle we were already at the hospital due to my contractions, because we live far away and, had we not been at the hospital and had my doctor not already been at the hospital, I was told I would not have my baby girl and who knows if I would have made it. I had actually been at the hospital the previous day and had been sent home. Thank God for making me stubborn and not caring if the hospital staff was sick of me showing up all the time.  :-)

 She was in the NICU for a few days to be monitored but has always been healthy.  And super duper smart.

So she's always been one to get her way. She wanted to come early, she came early. She doesn't want to clean her mess, she doesn't. I know you probably have tons of advice for me that, believe me, I have tried and not only that, I've probably preached to other moms the very same advice you'd like to give me. She is who she is and I can't change that, it's not something I can discipline out of her, nor can I spank it out or put her in time-out enough. So I just love her. And pray. And sometimes act like a big baby and throw her toys in the trash, only to get them out myself. And pray. And love her. 

I'm very thankful to God that He decided I would be her mama and not someone else. She is unlike any child I've ever known before but she is a blessing and brings so much joy and laughter to our lives. I could not imagine life without her and I know she will outgrow a lot of her quirks, but hopefully not all of them because she is hilarious!

So there's my Whackjob Wednesday. I'm hoping this won't be a weekly feature.  

For His glory alone,

genesis

A foolproof formula for raising perfect, godly chidren.

Oh bless your heart. Did you really think this blog entry was going to give you a tidy, foolproof, step-by-step formula for raising children who grow up to be perfectly perfect, never rebelling Christians with shining halos atop their heads? Well, bless your heart indeed. 

As mothers, we often look for that, though. This book says to do this, this book says to do that, this article in the homeschooling magazine sounds like this lady really knows what she's talking about and look, her children are all wearing matching outfits, even the young adult children. I MUST do whatever it is she is doing!

Listen, friends, I do not have a fool-proof formula guaranteed to get results or your money back. If I did, I would surely share it with you for free because I hurt when I see children who rebel. I hurt when I hear of a once-lovely church going young lady who totally walked away from her faith once she left home and I hurt for those broken hearted parents who are surely thinking, "Where did we go wrong? If only we had fill in the blank."

And I know what you're thinking..."You're children aren't even grown yet. Why on earth are you writing this? You don't have all the answers."  Oh, you are so correct. I certainly don't have all the answers. My children are 4, 12, 15, and 17. All are still living at home. You're right, I don't know what it's like to have an adult child who is legally able to make his or her own decisions.

So let me share with you what I do have and why exactly I felt led to blog about this.  :-)

I do have an amazing God, a heavenly Father who has given me His word and His Holy Spirit to guide me in every single thing I do. The Holy Spirit has guided me and my husband to live in such a way that a lot of people might think we are wacky. Or legalistic. Or...I dunno, fill in the blank.

Let's start with this and you are probably familiar with it.

Deuteronomy 11: 18-21

 “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,  that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.

One thing I notice about a lot of kids-gone-astray is that the parents always say something like, "But we were a strong, church-going family. We were always active in church and Joey loved youth group."  I would like to very gently (as gently as possible and with no condemnation whatsoever) bring up the fact that there are many people who go to church religiously but that doesn't necessarily mean someone is doing the things listed above in that passage in Deuteronomy. 

This passage to me says it's not about showing up for church on Sunday. Or Sunday and Wednesday. Think about this, our God is AMAZING! He wants us to teach our children His ways ALL the time, not just during "church time". Our children need to SEE and FEEL our excitement about the Lord! Talk about God, talk about His goodness, tell your children about times when He's helped you overcome something, times He's answered a prayer, or times He didn't answer a prayer the way you wanted and you now see the wisdom in His "no." 

So IF there was a formula to follow (and there's not), I believe that might be step one. 
TALK ABOUT GOD AND HIS WAYS TO YOUR CHILDREN ALL THE TIME. Talking about God is not just for church time and it's not something you leave for the Pastor or Youth Leader to do. God wants YOU to do it. 

Next on the this-isn't-a-foolproof-formula-list....

I have to confess to you that I have lost it at times. I have responded to my children in my flesh. I have yelled. I have acted like a two year old throwing a tantrum. Yes. Me. (hangs head in shame)

Guess what?!?! It's all good!  "What is she talking about? How can this all be good?" 
God uses me to teach my children about Him even through my shortcomings, my mistakes, my major OOPSIES! 

How?

By humbling me to humble myself before my children. By softening my heart because I have sinned against them in my anger, in my impatience, in my irritation. I have had to approach my children, sometimes tearfully, and apologize and seek their forgiveness. 

Please, if you are thinking, "Oh now I KNOW you are crazy, girl! I'm the parent and ain't NO WAY I'm asking my child for forgiveness. I'm the parent, they are the child."  Please think about that. Is that an attitude of humility? Is that an attitude of wanting to serve and please the Lord? I beg you to rethink whether or not it is really a good idea to hold those kinds of attitudes.  

By my humbly apologizing and seeking my child's forgiveness, I am showing them that I, yes, I , their mother, am still only human and capable of sinning. I fall short. But I seek to serve and glorify God in all I do, so when I'm wrong, I'm wrong and I apologize and seek to make the relationship right again. Which brings me to....

Relationships. Admit it, you have, at one time or another worried about what other people thought of you, your family, your parenting styles, your children, etc...  Let's let that go. C'mon, deep breathe....let it goooooo....  We are here to please the Lord, not man. Oftentimes when we are pleasing the Lord with the way we live, man does not understand. We might be made fun of or mocked. That is ok. Learn to be ok with that. It's all about Him. It's not about us or others' opinions of us. It's ALL about Jesus Christ the Lord. So let's remember it's about having a relationship with your children even if people think your ways are strange.  Listen to your children. Hear them out, listen to their ideas, try to be an encouragement the best way you can. 

One last thing on the this-isn't-a-foolproof-formula-list...

It's nice being friends with your children, but don't idolize them. They are not before God. There will be times when we make decisions as their parents that they do not like at all. Maybe they are too young to understand or maybe their flesh is in the way and they just want to do what they want to do  even if they know it's not a good idea. I can tell you there is a benefit to standing firm in what God is telling you to do for your family and that is, your children will see that you really place God as number one in your life. They will see that your obedience to Him trumps all and they will see that you don't just talk the talk, you walk the walk even in the face of jeering or adversity.  We've had the Holy Spirit guide us to avoid certain things that other Christians partake in. Our children might feel they miss out, however, after reading some movie reviews, they see WHY we do not allow this. Let your children see that you love the Lord enough to obey Him. 

I could not post this if I did not say I fully understand that you can do all the "right" things and your children still might rebel and walk away from the faith. I get it. My children are not immune to that. We do the best we can as parents, we listen to the Lord's prompting but our children do grow up into their own adulthood. If you have a child who has walked away from the faith, don't accept defeat. Our God is MIGHTY TO SAVE and don't you ever forget it! I will tell you a private story without names. One child had me on my knees often and I do mean often. There were times I would quietly sneak into said child's room while said child slept and prayed for said child (see how vague I am?)  I would pray and cry for said child nearly every night. God finally spoke to me (no, not audibly) and said, "Do you think you love this child more than I do?" and I said, "Well, no Lord, of course not." and He basically said, "Then leave it in my hands. I have plans for this child and you will be amazed at what I have in store for this child." I've been at peace ever since because my God is not a liar. He's got this under control. He's got your situation under control, too, and He loves your children more than you do! Trust Him, walk in His ways, not the ways of the world, abide in Him, teach His ways to your children every chance you get. Then rest in the knowledge that He is sovereign and has this all under control. 

God bless you in your parenting journey. It is certainly not an easy task, but I can't think of a greater calling than to be a mother, raising children up in the Lord. 

For His glory alone!
genesis 

Ice Cream Sundaes from Mickey D's

An odd title for a blog post, eh?

Don't you love when Scripture comes to life? I mean, sure we all know the Bible and we are all familiar with many verses but I'm talking about when something happens in your life (and it need not be some huge, life-altering event) and you know God is smiling down at you saying, "Yes, you get it!" because He loves to see the light bulb go off over our pretty little heads.

I was driving home from dropping my son off at work yesterday when I thought, "Hey, I want a salad from Mickey D's." I had not had lunch yet, and I loooove their salads. Bacon Ranch. Mmmm hmmm...Please, don't tell me anything bad about it. It might be fake lettuce from Mars or they might inject hormones into the carrots or something. I just can't take any more of that knowledge. Let me be ignorant!

So anywho.....

My older daughter was at home with her two younger sisters and I knew they had already eaten lunch so I thought, "I will surprise them with hot fudge sundaes!" 

Remember, we're not talking about how unhealthy/fake/gmo/whatever this food might be...for now.

I was very excited, because I enjoy surprising my children. Whether it's with a snack item or a toy, I truly delight in bringing them home little prizes when I'm able.

And that's when it happened people.
    It just came alive for me.

Matthew 7:7-11

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Of course we've all heard this before. We've read it. We know what it means, but do we know what it means?  I hope you are not expecting some Bible scholar breakdown here. If you are, please exit stage left.

Basically, if I...little, ole sinful me, delights in giving my children gifts, large or small....how much more must my Heavenly Father delight in giving me gifts? He doesn't give me everything I ask for and that is okay with me. Sure, sometimes it makes me feel a little sad. I am certainly most thankful for the four children He's blessed me with but do I look at newborns with that twinge in my heart? Sure. I don't take this verse to mean He will give me everything I ask for because, quite honestly, I don't think that would be wise and we all know God is the wisest of all. I am secure in knowing that, if I don't have it, God must not think I need it and He has a very good reason for that. I don't have to know the reason. :-)

It was just a neat reminder, a neat way for His Word to come to life for me. And it's His way of telling me, "I know you already know this verse, but here, let Me make it come to life for you in this way, in this moment in your life."

I will remember this next time I am given something good because "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father of lights......" James 1:17  and I will picture my Heavenly Father up there smiling down, delighting as I receive the gift He blessed me with...like seeing my children smile, hoot and holler because their mama brought home ice cream sundaes. Those smiles are gifts that I cherish and thank the Lord for.

For His glory alone,
genesis

Just wait until they're teenagers...

If you have children, I'm sure you've heard that before. I know I've heard it countless times. Why do people say this?

Sometimes I think people say things because they are used to hearing those things themselves... all in the world, in pop culture, etc. . . In other words, I really don't think they mean any harm when they say it, it's just something "we say", know what I mean?

     Oh teenagers (sneer). . .just you wait until yours are that age. . .

Two of my children are teenagers; my oldest is seventeen and second child is fifteen. And, well. . .I'll just tell you the story that's on my heart, the story that led me to blog about this to begin with.

A few months ago, I was approached by the Board members of my local homeschool support group. Yes, it's funny, but my initial thought was, "Uh oh, did my kids do something wrong? Did I say something? Are we getting kicked out of the group?" 

To make a long story short (because if you're blessed to know me in real life, hehe, you know that I can really talk your ear off and that translates into my writing and brevity is not a strength I possess and, and. . . well, did I mention I was making a long story short?) 

So. . .to make a long story short, I was told that our High School Coordinator was "retiring" from her position. I was given the choice: either I could choose to be the Middle School Coordinator and our current MS Coordinator would take over the High School stuff, OR, I could be the new High School Coordinator. 

Of course I did not make this decision immediately, I knew I had to talk about this with my husband and my Heavenly Father. I needed to know how they felt about this. But one thing I knew was....it would definitely be High School I'd choose.

   Oh teenagers (sneer). . .just you wait until yours are that age. . .

I have to tell you something. Brace yourselves. You, like me, have probably heard a different characterization of teenagers all of your life. But. . .I think teenagers are pretty awesome people. Really, I do.

They are not perfect. Are we? 

They make incredibly stupid mistakes sometimes. Don't we?

They act like punks sometimes. Don't we?  (Ok, maybe you don't, but I do.)

Sometimes they feel rebellious and act out. Don't we? (Um yes, see above.)

Sometimes they feel the pressure that everyone puts on them and feels like everyone is scrutinizing them, just to see when, yes when, they will make their next mistake.

Wow.

I don't know about you, but as a Christian, I have felt that way before. Like everyone is waiting to pounce on me for something or other.

Sometimes they wish someone, anyone, would just tell them what to do so they don't have to make such a huge, important decision about something or other. . .I have felt that way.

Other times they just wish everyone would shut up and stop acting like they are incapable of making decisions and let them make their own decisions. Yep, I have felt that way, too.

Really, are we that different? 

I know what some of you are thinking. Let me agree right now. We get wiser with age. Um, usually. We get wiser with some life experience under our belts. Yes, yes, I agree. There are many great lessons teenagers can learn from us. We have been there, really we have. Chances are, we have felt like you feel, really we have. 

But I think people forget what it used to be like.
 To be a teenager. 

So I knew I definitely wanted to be the High School Coordinator, because I really enjoy the teen years. Yes, there's drama. Yes, there's heartache. Yes, there is frustration. Yes, there are times when you really, and I mean really, want to smack them upside the head.  Yes, there are times when you giggle and think, "When they're older, they'll understand. . ." but remember. . .do you remember. . .when we were like that? I sure do.

As all the words of this blog post were swirling around in my head while I was outside watching my youngest in the pool, I started to tear up. Last night, I took some teens to the bowling alley. What fun! How fun it is to look at these kids and see such promise, such potential. To see the future. Each is unique and has different personalities, but they all made me smile and laugh. 

But I also know they are coming to the point of feeling the weight of the future on their shoulders. Some are graduating and know what they want to be "when they grow up". Others still struggle with thoughts of, "I'm not gonna be a kid anymore. How will I get a good job? How will I ever be able to buy a house?" Really, can you imagine? Do you remember those feelings? Those emotions? That uncertainty? 

So I drive these kids around, taking them to fun places because I know there will come a time when I won't be able to do that anymore. Well, unless I hire myself out as an old granny who drives strange teens around but that would be a bit weird. Even for me. There will come a time when these kids are out in the big world, getting married, having families of their own, contributing to society, living life. . .And when people tell them:

  Oh teenagers (sneer). . .just you wait until yours are that age. . .

I hope I'm around. So I can tell them, "Yeah, you just wait. Because if you have the right attitude, it's gonna be so much fun!"

For His glory alone,

genesis

Have you forgotten from where you came?

I think sometimes we, as Christians, can truly forget we have not always been a Christian. No one is born a Christian. Born in a Christian home, maybe, but not born a Christian.

I think, because I was not born or raised in a Christian home, I have a different perspective. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with my past at all and it's just the way the good Lord made me. I don't know everything, LOL!

Anyway, I heard a story in church this past Sunday that truly made me cringe. Our pastor was talking about how, when some people get saved, it's the very people who should be rejoicing (fellow Christians) who are the ones acting mad. Can you believe it?! He gave the example of a man who surrendered his life to Christ and started bringing people to church with him. The church-goers were not happy about this. Why? Because the newcomers were bikers, possible ex-drug users. You know....those people.

It's funny how people like to classify sin as if the sins of others are always worse than our own sins. Really people? Have you forgotten from where you came? Because my Bible says ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Um, that word ALL includes you and me. Yep. We came short of God's glory. We didn't measure up. We might not be rough and tough bikers, or street-smart prostitutes in miniskirts with our junk hanging out, or meth addicts stealing to support our habit....but our sin separated US from the Father just the same.

May we remember that when a tattooed biker from the baddest biker gang comes in to church. If he has repented, God has forgiven him the same way He forgave me and you, friends. 

May we remember that when a new lady comes to church in a dress we think is too short, too tight, too sexy. Of course there's a proper way to dress and we don't want to encourage that, but how do we know that's not the best dress she owns? Hey, we might be glad she chose that dress and not one of her others, LOL! And usually we aren't mad that she's not dressed holy enough, we're paranoid that our husbands might be checking her out. I say the blood of Jesus was certainly enough to cover her sins, too, don't you think? Who cares that just last week she was working on the street corner. Go up and give that lady a big smile and a warm hug. We let people know by our actions that we are super glad to have her visit our church and let her know the Holy Spirit comes to our church, too. Let these people SEE Jesus in US so they will want to return to our church. We show them this by showing them He has changed us, not into Christians who go to church every Sunday, but PEOPLE who love others. People who REJOICE when we get a new brother and sister in the Lord.

NO ONE is beyond redemption because they used to be this or used to be that. We, my friends, were once sinners, too, separated from God due to our exceedingly sinful selves. Praise His holy name, Christ crucified and resurrected saved my sins, your sins and the sins of those kind of people...who ever those kind of people may be. May we rejoice when we hear that the devil will have one less soul with him in hell. Hallelujah!

For His glory alone!
genesis

God uses those of all ages

We all know that I Timothy 4:12 says, "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit,in faith, in purity."

This verse is generally used to encourage young people to be bold for Christ and to be an example. It's a good verse to encourage teenagers to be a witness for Christ despite their youth.

However, a recent "real life thing" made me realize this verse can apply in other situations where there is quite an age gap between two (or more) Believers. There might come a time when a younger person has wisdom to share with an older person. It would be a normal reaction for the older person to be quite prideful of this little whippersnapper who thinks he or she knows everything. What do you do when someone much younger rebukes you or comes alongside you and says, "Look, I see you are struggling with this sin. I'd like you to know I'm praying for you and I'd like to help you if you'll let me."

You could let Mr. Pride rear his ugly head....

"Who do you think you are?"
 "You are younger than me by a good twenty years."
   "I've been on this planet a lot longer than you have."
    "Respect your elders!"

Or you could think of our amazing, all-powerful God who uses people of all ages to help us in our walk, our journey of faith. The Lord loves a humble, teachable spirit. Sometimes age does not equal spiritual maturity. May we let our brothers and sisters in Christ help us along our journey no matter their age!


For His glory alone,
genesis