What is it with women finding their worth in their looks? Is this an age-old problem? I think many would agree it's getting worse with all of the flashy images we see every time we check out at the grocery store or every time we turn the TV on. (Note: we got rid of TV/cable over a year ago and don't miss it!)
Do you realize we would all be happier with ourselves if we stopped comparing ourselves to others? Get this, if you are comparing your forty year old image to your eighteen year old image, you are still comparing yourself unfairly because THAT.IS.NO.LONGER.YOU. We are not meant to stay young and look young forever. No matter what society says. No matter how many inventions they come out with and how many injections they concoct to help you find the fountain of youth. It's not normal!
I was at a party with my lovely friends recently and someone started taking pictures. And that's when it started. "I hope you didn't get me." "Oh, I look horrible." "I'm never in pictures."
These ladies are beautiful in my eyes!
I understand because I'm human and so I've cringed when seeing myself in pictures at times.
But I still think it's sad and it must stop!
A friend of mine posted a video the other day. It was pulled so I can't link you to it, but it was a compilation of young girls, some as young as five, who uploaded videos of themselves to youtube, asking if people thought they were pretty or ugly. SERIOULSY! I could cry! WHY???
Here's what I say to my girls who are absolutely beautiful! Everyone sees differently. There are some who will think you are gorgeous and some who will think you aren't. That's just life. When it comes to what people find physically attractive, everyone is different. I'm sure we've all seen the celebrities who have been voted "Most Beautiful" but really, not everyone agrees. There is one woman in particular who is not physically beautiful to me. I'm not mentioning names because the point of my post is NOT to tear others down, especially for their physical appearance. It's to say, everyone is different.
Back to the party and my friends, listen up mamas! Your children want to have memories of you. Not just memories of when you were young and thin and...not the mama they knew. They want to have memories of you throughout the years, memories of the mama they knew and loved! Get.In.Those.Pictures! It doesn't matter if you think you need to lose fifty pounds or if all you see is wrinkles. Get in that picture and SMILE! Our daughters and other young ladies in our lives are looking to us to see how we feel about beauty. How do we feel about our own physical appearance? Do we feel we are less than because we've gained some weight? Do we feel less than because, at thirty six we no longer look eighteen?
I see this a lot, not just in women my age and older, but in teens! Teens, for crying out loud! This one young lady (beautiful!) was complaining about her picture. I told that sweet girl to save it because one day she'd look back on it and say, "Wow, I looked like that and complained." Seriously girls, be happy with yourselves in whatever season you're in.
I will share something that's a bit embarrassing but the testimony of God's goodness just isn't the same without sharing it. My whole life, I've been told I'm pretty. No really, don't stop reading. This is not a "don't hate me because I'm beautiful thing." I remember even as a little girl with my mom in the mall or the grocery store, people would come up and tell her what a pretty little girl she had and that I should model. (Believe it or not, I used to be shy so I would hide when they'd say this.) I was complimented on my looks throughout my life. Guess what: you can tell someone they are pretty all the time, but if they are comparing themselves to others and if they aren't seeing pretty when they look in the mirror, it doesn't mean a thing! Trust me, I ended up with such issues, self image issues, eating disorders. I was actually seeing something totally different in the mirror than what other people saw (apparently.) It was all so sad, so unhealthy, so pathetic!
People say you should tell your daughters all the time that they are beautiful. Hmmm. I can't say I do that. And it's on purpose! While I definitely think my girls are beautiful and I do tell them this, it's not something I feel the need to tell them every day. I'd rather tell them....
to be kind, because that shines through...
to love the Lord and follow after Him because that is what's important and a woman who loves the Lord and seeks Him with all her heart is ALWAYS beautiful...
to have compassion for others because that makes your beauty shine...
to love laughing, really laughing not fake laughing...
to love to make others laugh because a funloving spirit is beautiful....
to help those less fortunate because that's never an ugly quality...
to be quick to forgive because it exemplifies the Father in how He beautifully forgives us...
to be ladylike not only in your clothing, but in your heart because you can wear modest clothing and still have an ugly, attention seeking heart and that is not beautiful...
The women you see on magazines are altered. Either surgically, or digitally or both. And even if they aren't, so what. They aren't you. You are you. Embrace the beauty that's in you. While I do not think I am the world's idea of beautiful, I will not tear myself down anymore. I hope when people see me and compliment me, I hope what they really mean is, "She loves Jesus and it shows. She's so nice and helpful. She's funny and I like the way she tries to make me happy by making me laugh. She's so silly and playful and helps me get out of my sad mood." Those are the things that matter in reality. In reality, we all get old, we all get flabby and wrinkly and gray. Those things are not ugly, no way. Beauty comes from the inside and you will never find it in yourself if you keep looking for it on the outside in the mirror. It comes from the inside. It doesn't come from everyone telling you how beautiful you are or getting a hundred likes on your pictures.It comes from the inside.
Praise You, Lord, for opening my eyes, for helping me to see that I am beautiful because of the changes You've made in me and not because of what I look like on the outside or what others think of me. Praise Your holy name! I am forever grateful! <3
Remember, get in those pics and smile no matter what you look like on the outside! Life is passing by...
For His glory alone,
genesis
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